he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
