I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
