also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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