"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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