Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
