dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
