if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
