He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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