just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
