i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
