that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
