Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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