i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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