...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
