ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize