spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
