oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
