Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
