It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
