You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
