Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
please don't ironically join a cult
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