so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
