No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
