You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
