Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
