if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
