absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Randomize
