you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
