I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
