Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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