Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
