i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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