I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
