Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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