he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
