But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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