There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
