the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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