he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
