I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
