At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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