I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
where am i from again
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
