Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
