just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
