But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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