I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
