How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
