So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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