I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
