what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
