I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize