You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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