i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
