wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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