So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
