haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
