Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
