dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
