Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
