you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
