there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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