when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
