dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
