while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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