i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
