Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
