Soap is not a condiment
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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