why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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