A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
