normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
