thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
