Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Enjoy the penises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
