Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
