Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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