He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
