I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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