Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
